TEACH LOVE

I was having a conversation with a fellow mommy and she laughed and disagreed when I said we teach our kids love. I get where she was coming from, because love is just an emotion we feel and can’t be taught… right?

Our kids learn everything from us. It’s not always something tangible like writing their name or saying thank you and hi- it’s also what they observe. Our kids learn everything from us …

Love is patient,

Love is kind,

Love is all that it is in my favorite passage of all time. (Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love is ultimately, to me, Acceptance.

When you accept someone as they are and how they are going to be without your influenceà that is Love.

It simultaneously means the other. Not to say you can’t do one without the other.

Because you can love and not accept.

But to love truly and purely and with no limitations

That is Acceptance.

I love hard and at the root of that is my accepting those fully to love them freely.

It’s not something that comes naturally; I have to remind myself always.

It’s just something I realized at a young age and have applied to all my friendships and relationships of substance.

I remind myself to accept my brothers and their flaws,

My friendships and their truths

And most importantly I apply this theory to the love I have and will teach to my daughter

She’s only three (going on 13, I swear ask anyone) and the dynamics of our relationship start with me accessible to understanding her.

I guide her and I nurture her. But it isn’t always my way or the highway with her.

I give her the liberties to also develop on her own.

Not just how I want her to be.

She has to understand where I’m coming from too.

It matters that I start to accept her now.

She is who she will be, even at the tender age of three.

I’m watching and I’m listening.

I’m mothering the best way I know how.

With no guidance or influence from others,

With no positive, personal experiences from my adolescents.

I need not hers, or anyone’s permission to be her mother.

To be her protector.

Her supporter.

Her friend.

I know I will teach her love.

I will teach her how to love and what love is.

All parents do, whether you agree with me right at this moment or until the end of this piece.

We teach our kids “LOVE”

They’re watching… they’re listening… they’re absorbing.

They will love how we show them to love and receive it.

That’s why it’s important to be in healthy relationships.

I want my daughter to see love between her dad and I.

To see us hug, kiss, hold hands, cook together, clean together, open doors for one another.

She needs to hear us say nice things to one another.

Laugh together; enjoy each other’s company, be supportive of each other’s goals and consoling with each other’s pain.
(and if not you get out. it's important our children see their parents respect each other ... if we're better separately, than separate we shall be.)

It’s imperative that I set the foundation for her limitless, authentic love.

It’s imperative that I practice accepting her now.

So she can feel love.

See love.

Hear love.

… Be love. <3

An Exclusive Interview With Manny Chacón The First Latino Member of Step Afrika!

AN OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TIME

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In an exclusive interview with Step Afrika’s first Latino member Emanuel “Manny” Chacón, a brother of Lambda Sigma Upsilon Latino Fraternity Inc., inducted in the Fall of 2010, Manny reveals he always had a passion for the art of dance. Before he began to take hip-hop seriously, while in College, through his mentor J-Romeo, he began his artistic expression with Capoeira (a Brazilian martial art that combines elements of dance, acrobatics and music) in 2005.

Step Afrika! Founded in 1994, is the first professional company dedicated to the art of stepping. It is a non-profit organization that began as an exchange program with the Soweto Dance Theatre in Johannesburg, South Africa.  The company’s dance style is a fusion of South African gumboot dance and African American stepping, that has traditional been displayed by historically black collegiate fraternal organizations. C. Brian Williams, founder of Step Afrika!  is a graduate of Howard University and has performed, lectured and taught in Europe, South & Central America, Africa, the Middle East, Asia, the Caribbean and throughout the United States. Williams first learned to step as a member of his fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Beta Chapter, in 1989. Over the past 21 years Step Afrika! has grown to become one of the top 10 African American Dance Companies in the United States and Washington DC’s largest African American arts organization. 

Before joining Step Afrika! Emanuel attended the University of Delaware where he studied Marketing and Interactive Media. Professionally, he was an Assistant Director of Undergraduate Admissions at Cabrini University and now Manny is approaching is 1 year anniversary with the company.

“Although I had a good university job after graduation I always continued dancing and training,” says Chicon.

“A friend told me about auditions and I figured why not go and see what happens. The worst that can happen is they say no. I prayed on it and said if it's meant to be I'll make it. A few months later I received a phone call with an offer.”

Stepping is known for its intricate, synchronized patterns of stomps, kicks, claps, and call-and-response. The company uses their body as instruments; blending percussive dance styles and influences from a variety of other dance forms to heighten performances by including integrate songs, storytelling, humor, audience participation, and the sharpest choreography.

“The company was very welcoming. The learning and training process in the beginning was challenging, intense, and extremely tiring, but the older company members were very supportive along the way. Being the only Latino in an African American company may seem like a challenge to some but it has allowed me to bridge the gap among similar cultures to a degree,” says Manny.

Step Afrika! tours nationally and internationally. The Company uses stepping as an educational tool presenting residency programs, workshops and a variety of arts education activities worldwide for grades  K-12 and college students in its home of Washington, DC. The dance company’s focus is on teamwork, academic achievement and cross-cultural understanding. Step Afrika! reaches tens of thousands of Americans each year through a 50-city tour of colleges and theatres and performs globally as a cultural ambassador.

Most recently the group wrapped up a college tour where they visited over 20 college campuses including, Iowa State University, University of North Carolina and Albany University.

“Although my personal dance journey was much shorter than others, I was blessed with opportunities I never imagined and experiences many have yet to experience themselves. I felt as if things were happening for a reason. I rather go for it rather than think what if.”

If you have a passion for this art come out to D.C and audition on May 20^th!

ZenSLAYA : Her Spring Collection Speaks to Queens of All Sizes

QUEEN OF INCLUSION

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There’s not much Zendaya, a superior trendsetting artist can’t or doesn’t do.  The 20-year-old actress, singer, author, dancer, and most recently added to her resume- fashion designer, has launched her Spring Collection for her clothing line, Daya by Zendaya. Her brand was developed and brought to life with her long time stylist, Law Roach.  In an interview, Zendaya explains why she wanted to expand her shoe line into a clothing line with no one other than Roach.

“Law is my style partner in crime, my fashion guru, [and] the person who I go to for all things fashion related. He gets me; he’s been my one and only stylist my entire career, and I’m so excited to have done this with him. He’s got an incredible eye and he understands things so if I can’t make up my mind, he will definitely make it up for me!"

Mimicking her unique, fresh and respected taste and eye in fashion, that landed her a spot as a guest judge on the Emmy Award winning show- Project Runway, ZenSlaya’s collection features pieces that can be mixed and matched to seamlessly fit into a dope mix of street-style and high-profile wardrobes, such as her own.

Everything in the new line runs from size 0 to 22. “I wanted to make sure the sizing was right and that no one felt alienated or didn’t feel like they were included in my line. I also wanted the androgynous, gender-neutral aspect of the clothes to be a big part of this. People should feel confidant and feel like themselves in the pieces,” Zendaya explains in the earlier quoted interview.

All clothing is priced between $18 and $158.  “I wanted this not to be something they go to wash one time and it’s done after that. I want people to have these pieces for a long time in their wardrobe…It’s basically elevated street style.”

According to Google, 2016 was the year of the Celebrity Fashion Designer.

Every year Google releases its list of most trending searches and in 2016, Zenslaya ranked #4 in most searched fashion designers. She beat out Kanye West, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and Beyonce for that spot.  With Daya by Zendaya continuing to be inclusive to queen’s of all sizes and made with luxury material that won’t break our pockets, I’m sure this mogul will be higher on this list in the years to come.

There's No Right Time (To Expand Your Family) Just Your Time

“Your daughter is so beautiful! When are you having another?”

“Oh, you just turned 27? Better start having the rest of your children now before you’re 30 and too old.”

“You really should give her a friend to play with.”

Personally, I’m not willing to give into the secret society of parents who set the standards and rules for when I should be expanding my family. I am an exceptionally emotional and passionate person. I have always felt everything strongly- love, happiness, sadness, hurt. I’m still full of amazement that Arelis Mercedeslee Troncoso is my daughter and that her and God deemed me worthy enough to love her and teach her love, too. So, until I've actually experienced this human being in all her great forms, where a pinch is not needed to assure me I'm not dreaming of this blessing I have, I will not be having other children. Despite the pressures I’ve seemed to encounter every day since my daughter was three-weeks old.

 I'm not through loving my baby with all I got. She is my first, and factoring in my experiences with women and mothers in my life, I want to feel everything strongly as a new mom, and in the now with my daughter. I don't want to miss a cut, a tear, a laugh, a milestone because I was preoccupied elsewhere. That’s not to say it’s not possible and having children back-to-back is “wrong”! Hats off and kudos to the mommies who choose that route. It’s our prerogative as mothers to decide when and how to expand our families. There is NO one, right, way to be a mother. Regardless of what society, your tias, abuelos, co-workers, or even your single-no-kids-having- friends, with the best intentions, say.

Mothers and families do it all the time. “Pop them out,” “Get it done with,” for reasons that we hear too often from strangers- “Better to do it all at once instead of reliving the craziness.” That's ALL great, and God willing if I get pregnant again in the future, I too would want to have my 3rd child within a few years of having my second.  I am not opposed to this thought; just don’t find it suiting for my life right now. Being selfish, at this moment, is my right. I am beyond in love with my lil’ mama and I'm giddy to witness her grow up.

That’s the gag. I want to relive the craziness and the memories with every baby. It's not something I just want to get done with all at once - it's something I'd like to fully familiarize myself with repeatedly, like riding my favorite rollercoaster at an amusement park. You don't go on Nitro three times in one day then never go back! I could imagine riding Nitro at different stages of my life and recalling special memories because of it.

Not having a mother present growing up or many women in my life that I genuinely admired and respected - I always believed, deep down, one of my callings would be, to be a phenomenal mommy and role model to children I would love boundlessly. For as long as my health, finances, and pre-mommy-weight snap back is on my side, I'd produce an army to love. I'm all about love and nurture and making sure people know I love them, because I didn't get that when I was younger.

I want to experience my baby in all methods that I experience everything else, deep and hard and engraved in my heart. This is my time to be greedy with my daughter before I have to share my corky obsession with other tiny human beings, along with a husband to love, a house to keep a home, and a career to flourish in. I'm taking this slow. I've been an aunt since I was 16 so babies are nothing new to me. But, MY baby, my daughter, motherhood, this is all a first for me - so I'm pretty comfy on cloud 9. 

It’s the mommy and Arelis show. She’ll be the first person to have my entire heart; open, pure and welcoming to everything we're going to learn from together. Society can take a chill pill; I’m going to do this mother thing, my way.

Published on JustBeParenting.com

Not All Things Are Fake in Hollywood

I know! We are all used to seeing flawless skin, make-up, hair — well, practically everything so perfect in Hollywood. The problem is it starts to blur reality of what’s real and our beliefs on what’s beautiful. As if to say; if you have real body flaws you can’t be beautiful in Hollywood?

Cellulite Is NATURAL & Beautiful

Celebrities are humans. Now, while some of them are praised for their money bought beauty, others embrace their flaws, proudly. Take America’s Next Top Model judge and Supermodel, Ashley Graham for instance, who showcases her curves often on her Instagram page. Proudly displaying how a real woman can look amazing in a bathing suit, work out constantly, and still be holding onto some cellulite — that will never define our beauty.

Women know this! When we are packing a little extra meat on our back side, lumps and bumps make our thighs and hips its permanent residence. Cellulite is real and nothing to be embarrassed of. This unrealistic Hollywood image has a lot of ladies running to a surgeon's office , instead of loving the figure they've been given. Shout Out to Ashanti, Serena Williams, Angela Simmons, and Amber Rose (to name a few) who've recently gotten heat from social media trolls for their not-so-perfect bodies. These Queens are inspiring, and reminding us, not everything is fake in Hollywood.

AMBER ROSE

 C'mon is it even possible for Muva to look bad?

NADIA ABOULHOSN

 Fashion designer/blogger and Model; embraces her flaws all the way to the bank!

ASHANTI

Her entire IG page will leave you speechless with how effortlessly FLY she is!

SERENA WILLIAMS

Ya'll deserved a time out for body shaming this queen's firm physique !

IGGY AZALEA

Fancy! and still baggin' bodies- mmm kay!

BRIA MYLES

A new name to some, but familiarize yourself with it quick! Her body is #swimsuitseason #goals!

COCO

Don't get distracted from the top, her bottom is perfect too!

ANGELA SIMMONS

If you follow her on Snapchat you know this queen lives in the gym. A recent new member to the mommy club, Mrs. Angela is looking like a snack!

Published on TheBlackMedia.org

New year, New Kim?

"A fan" - before, not about her on Instagram. I believe you control your image, be who you are and not who you think others want you to be. Kim K was great at playing exactly what the initial follow (media) wanted her to be: social media sex symbol, vixen, booty pictures, naked pictures, flashy style pictures. All things sexy and WORK. Kim K, even if not working, IS working.

Kim is a businesswoman. She made Forbes’ Celebrity 100 list, ranking No. 42, with an alleged net worth of $150 million- 2.5 times bigger than her husband, Kanye West’s net worth at $62 million.  A simple tweet from the mogul will cost you $10,000.00 and $200,000.00 for a shout out on the gram. With a combined following from both social media outlets, of nearly 140 million, it's worth the dish out, for an endorsement.

We’re nearing the end of the 1^st month of 2017, giving followers enough time to reflect on the TV personality’s rather refreshing, new approach to what she posts on social media. Could we be witnessing the rebranding of Kim Kardashian? Is she taking a page out of her sister’s, Khloe and Kourtney’s lives and being more candidly herself? Will she be focusing more on presenting who she is first, a mother, a wife, and a family orientated gal?

In the beginning, we were all probably sold on that concept.  Her 1^st few pictures captioned “family” and “mom”. But now we see a trip to Dubai, an appearance for a make-up class, and earlier on, a clever and kind of classic Kim way of showing us how Kanye has “her back” (a subtle booty brush).  Is she worth the follow on Instagram now?

Anyway we spin it, Kim will always remind us that through the years, she will remain a businesswoman who’s in charge of marketing herself. I for one, just hope she infuses a little more of this revamped edge, show casing the true life she leads and not just the one the media assumes her to live because of the money she makes. If I see one picture of her with a grill on in 2017, I’m going to un-follow too.